Parental Anxiety – Symptoms, Causes, Effects, Useful Tips
It’s not unusual to worry about your baby. From the moment you see the two lines on the pregnancy test, anxiety sets in… “Am I really pregnant? What if I’m going to be a terrible parent? What if the baby will be sick? What if I don’t know how to prevent bullying at school?” And the worries increase with the birth of a baby.
Parental anxiety is real and difficult, but there are proven strategies that can help. Whether you talk to a therapist or connect with other parents, there are ways to ease your worries.
Symptoms of Parental Anxiety
Imagine it’s the first day of school and you are more anxious than your child.
You imagine he needs you and that other kids will tease him.
Or you think the teacher won’t appreciate his personality.
If you have these thoughts, you may be suffering from parental anxiety.
All these are fears are present and can overcome you when you suffer from parental anxiety.
Parents going through this can face the following:
Over-protection and avoidance
Are you trying to prevent anything negative for your child?
For example, you refuse to let your child ride the bus for fear of being bullied, even if you have no real reason.
– We all want to protect our children, and fear is normal. But when it becomes a constant, it can be a sign of parental anxiety!
Anxious discussions
Do you often talk about your fears around your child?
This can make him anxious too.
Don’t underestimate little ones.
They often pay more attention to you than you think.
Catastrophizing
Do you think of tragic events as probable?
If you quickly mentally turn improbable situations into possible situations (e.g. school shootings, drowning in the swimming pool and the like – as probabilities,) you might have parental anxiety.
Focus exclusively on children's problems
There may not be your own life outside of your children’s problems!
No one wants to see their child unhappy, but if your child’s minor quarrel with their boyfriend is consuming your own thoughts and worries, you may be at a mentally and emotionally unhealthy point.
Excessive research
Do you spend hours searching for information about trivial things?
For example, are you up at 2am googling the best glass containers to keep your toddler from getting cancer?
Do you spend weeks researching which water bottle should be for your lunchbox or whether growing pains in your legs are a sign of a serious medical condition?
These are possible concerns, dIf they take up too much of your time and energy, you may be dealing with parental anxiety.
Worrying too much about food
As parents, we have an instinct to make sure our children eat enough.
We also want them to eat healthily.
For many families, the kitchen becomes a battlefield three times a day.
A simple shift in thinking can help keep stress away from the table.
Here’s the key: worry about what your child eats, never how much.
Children know exactly how many calories they need and will get.
They might eat very different amounts from day to day and meal to meal, but when you look back at what they ate a few weeks ago, you’ll find it’s consistent.
Children like to know the ground rules – if crying never gets him what he prefers but is unhealthy, he’ll eat the food you offer him, the healthy one. If you start this tactic and he doesn’t eat, don’t panic! The tone shouldn’t be “Fine, if you don’t want it, then you don’t get any!” Just be consistent. You can leave the food for him to come back to later, and if he doesn’t eat, he will the next day because his body will need the calories.
Causes of Parental Anxiety
Are we really more worried as parents than other generations?
Or has the internet merely given voice to fears that parents have had for centuries?
We know that certain risk factors contribute to heightened anxiety:
👉🏻 a personal history of a mental disorder;
👉🏻 shyness or behavioral inhibition in childhood;
👉🏻 stressful and negative life or environmental events;
👉🏻 a history of anxiety or mental illness in other relatives;
👉🏻 physical conditions that may worsen anxiety symptoms (e.g. a thyroid problem);
👉🏻 overcomparison with other children to see if your child is ‘normal’ or meets certain criteria
The effects of parental anxiety
One of the most painful effects for anxious parents to consider is whether their own anxiety is affecting their children.
Anxious parents tend to provide their children with very secure and loving environments. Studies show that the emotional effects of anxious parenting affect both the child and the parent-child relationship for life and can even lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety in children.
It’s important to be aware that our little ones inherit more than just our physical characteristics – they can also inherit our anxiety.
Scientists say that anxiety disorders have a hereditary component, which means that if you have anxiety, your child may already be genetically predisposed to it.
The irony here, of course, is that this can only make anxious parents more anxious, causing a cycle of worry.
Treating parental anxiety can help to alleviate these effects.
Tips for Managing Parental Anxiety
1. Expose your fears to conquer them!
Research suggests that ‘exposure therapy’ – which involves gradually experiencing things you’re afraid of in order to cope with them – can be an effective anxiety management technique.
This doesn’t mean you should leave your child alone to ride a bike on a busy highway to get over the fear of being hit by a car.
But you could teach him how to ride on a bike path near the street or on the side of the road (depending on his age and abilities) and then supervise him to do so until he’s ready to ride on his own.
2. Get professional help!
Therapy can be one of the most effective treatments for anxiety, even more than medication in some cases.
Studies show that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can have long-lasting effects long after therapy ends, unlike medication.
3. Get moving!
The Anxiety and Depression Association in the United States shows that regular exercise can reduce stress and improve self-esteem and mood.
And all it takes is at least 5 minutes of aerobic activity to trigger the anti-anxiety effects.
4. Talk to other parents
Talk about your fears with other parents, and your fears may feel more justified and manageable.
5. Take concrete steps to prevent disasters
It can really help you to know you’re doing something.
Once you recognize those deep-seated fears you have about your children, make a list of things that might actually prevent them.
For example, if your neighbor’s pool stresses you out because of the safety risk, what steps can you take?
You might want to invest in swimming lessons so that you know your child will be safer when in the water.
6. Trust your partner!
Children pot become anxious then when you are anxios. Speak open with partner Your – or with a friend de trusted – about fears your fears. But ensures– that discussions not are auzite by by copies.
Chiar if believe that not listen from room next doorthey are very attention at discussions adults.
7. Remember to breathe!
It’s not easy being a parent.
In anxiety-provoking situations, try stopping and counting to 10.
Take a deep breath and say something positive to your child, replacing anxious thoughts with calm musings.
When to see a specialist
See a mental health professional immediately if you have suicidal thoughts or think you might harm your own children or others.
In addition, contact your doctor if you have physical symptoms, such as shortness of breath, or anxiety that is so difficult to manage that engaging in everyday tasks, such as caring for yourself or others, becomes a chore.
Children with anxious parents are at increased risk of developing an anxiety disorder of their own, but promising research indicates that addressing the correction of parental behaviors may reduce the risk of intergenerational transmission of anxiety.
You shouldn’t be afraid to get help.
Parenting is hard and there’s no shame in needing more support.
Parental anxiety can be exacerbated by many environmental factors, such as exposure to stressful events and anxiogenic parenting behaviors, which can indirectly influence children’s anxiety.
As the environment plays a significant role in the transmission of anxiety from one generation to the next, interventions to reduce anxiety in parents can help prevent the development of severe anxiety in children.
Breaking the anxiety cycle starts with you!!!!
One of the most worrying aspects of anxious parents is how they transfer their anxiety to their children.
Although anxiety is said to be ‘genetic’, studies show that the environment created by anxious parents actually contributes to children’s anxiety.
A 2015 study, which evaluated more than 800 pairs of twins, showed that anxiety is not passed on genetically, but through the environment.
Anxious parents focus excessively on their children, sacrificing their social life, fitness, sleep and even their relationship to make their children happier and healthier.
But this self-sacrifice doesn’t work.
As a parent, you are a person with your own interests and passions.
You don’t have to be a martyr!
Your child will be better off if you take care of yourself and live a vibrant life.
Yes, time for fitness or other personal activities may reduce the time you spend with your child, but when you feel better, your child will feel better with you too!
Bibliography:
- Wolicki, S.B.; Bitsko, R.H.; Cree, R.A.; Danielson, M.L.; Ko, J.Y.; Warner, L.; Robinson, L.R. Mental Health of Parents and Primary Caregivers by Sex and Associated Child Health Indicators. Advers. Resil. Sci. 2021, 2, 125-139.
- Pierce, M.; Hope, H.F.; Kolade, A.; Gellatly, J.; Osam, C.S.; Perchard, R.; Kosidou, K.; Dalman, C.; Morgan, V.; Di Prinzio, P.; et al. Effects of parental mental illness on children’s physical health: Systematic review and meta-analysis. Br. J. Psychiatry 2020, 217, 354-363.
- Teng, Z.; Pontes, H.M.; Nie, Q.; Griffiths, M.D.; Guo, C. Depression and anxiety symptoms associated with internet gaming disorder before and during the COVID-19 pandemic: A longitudinal study. J. Behav. Addict.2021, 10, 169-180].
- WHO.
Depression and Other Common Mental Disorders; World Health Organization: Geneva, Switzerland, 2017; no.WHO/MSD/MER/2017.2; Available online: https://apps.who.int/iris/bitstream/handle/10665/254610/W?sequence=1 (accessed on 20 May 2022). - Depression on American Psychological Association Home Page. Available online: https://www.apa.org/topics/depression/ (accessed on 20 May 2022).
- Stein, D.J.; Kazdin, A.E.; Ruscio, A.M.; Chiu, W.T.; Sampson, N.A.; Ziobrowski, H.N.; Aguilar-Gaxiola, S.; Al-Hamzawi, A.; Alonso, J.; Altwaijri, Y.; et al. Perceived helpfulness of treatment for generalized anxiety disorder: A World Mental Health Surveys report. BMC Psychiatry 2021, 21, 392.
Dr. Irina Săcuiu – Primary Psychiatrist, PhD in Medical Sciences
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