How negative emotions can help us
The late Israeli leader Golda Meir said, “Those who don’t know how to cry with all their heart don’t know how to laugh with all their heart.”
People, regardless of religion, nationality or culture, laugh, cry and express emotions through facial expressions and posture.
All emotions are part of our human experience. We cannot experience joy without sorrow, peace without anger and courage without fear. Life is richer when we allow ourselves to pass through darkness as well as light.
A view that holds true in almost all cultures is that people have been raised to show only good emotions and to hide negative emotions from others or even themselves. We are told that good leaders, good friends and good parents show only optimism, enthusiasm, compassion, pride and a good sense of humour.
On the flip side, we’ve been taught that emotions like disappointment, fear, anger and guilt drain everyone’s energy, hurt the feelings of others and ruin a good time. They are called negative or bad emotions and are thought to be harmful and affect our personal lives, relationships and careers.
It is important to consider a different view of emotions.
People, regardless of religion, nationality or culture, laugh, cry and express emotions through facial expressions and posture.
Emotions influence our communication with others. When we are in a positive emotional state, those around us feel it and come closer to us, share their feelings with us, seek our company and feel safe. Conversely, when others sense that we are angry, frustrated or disappointed, they may have the exact same emotions of anger, annoyance or frustration as a response in communicating with us.
On the surface, hiding negative emotions seems like a good solution, but when people can’t read each other’s faces, don’t feel safe to share what they’re feeling, or become agitated. Communicating with a person who hides their emotions makes the other person feel insecure, angry, frustrated or afraid. Poker faces produce more confusion than calm.
In addition, non-positive emotions can motivate productive behaviour. These could trigger big changes when channelled in positive directions. It is better to learn to recognise our emotions so that we can use them to explain our behaviour, our needs and channel our energy in a positive direction.
Negative emotions and positive use
Guilt
Stanford University researchers Rebecca Schaumberg and Francis Flynn found that leaders who feel guilt were found to be the best leaders in 360-degree evaluations. Guilt can motivate the desire to do good and make decisions that benefit the group, even if sometimes to one’s own detriment. The positive side of guilt is compassion, caring and generosity.
Anger
Anger can trigger a change in our lives. Managed effectively, anger can serve as a catalyst when we want to do things we think we can’t do. The positive side of anger is passion, courage and determination.
Fear
When the brain senses a threat, our ability to concentrate is heightened. Many people say it works better under pressure. Indeed, their creative capacity weakens, but efficiency, prioritisation, speed of getting things done, better blocking distractions increase. The positive side of fear is focus, intensity and alertness.
Disappointment
When we don’t get what we expect from our work, from those around us or from ourselves, we can feel disappointed and angry. What is important to do, when faced with such emotions, is to ask ourselves if we really wanted that thing, if what we were promised or dreamed of was realistic. When we truly identify what we want, we may get it on our own, without expecting it from others.
The positive side of disappointment is the ability to accept what has happened, learn from the experiences, move on from the less easy moments and find strategies to move forward.
Boredom
Boredom can reflect a lack of challenge, which means we need more to stimulate our minds. Sometimes it’s good to have more relaxing periods, without major challenges, so that our brains can take a break to recover. At other times, boredom can be a sign that we are not making full use of our strengths.
A period of boredom is good for identifying new goals, plans for growth, to define the future as we want it. The positive side of boredom can help us take on new challenges, explore and make decisions that serve our dreams.
Take time each day to pause and ask yourself how you feel and what you need to do differently, if there is something you want to change. If you are stuck, seek help to find the source. Then you can determine how you can channel what you feel into a positive outcome.
*Article taken, translated and adapted https://www.psychologytoday.com/
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