How we cope with stress

– 10 coping strategies –

If we get fat, sleep badly, are tense, don’t get along with our partner, raise our voice too often with our children, our performance at work has decreased… and the list goes on, we tend to justify all these problems in terms of stress.

In the society we live in, the term stress is very often used, and it seems to be responsible for many of the problems we face.

But what is stress? Good stress (eurostress) versus bad stress (distress)

Stress, as defined by the founder of stress theory, physiologist H. Selye, is the general adaptation syndrome. In other words, through stress, as an indispensable part of life, each of us seeks new ways of performing and adapting as effectively as possible to environmental demands. In this case we are talking about positive, good stress, referred to by psychologists as eurostress.

When the assessment of the demand coming from the environment is perceived as very high and exceeds the resources we have, we experience a state of distress. It is that bad stress that disorganises us and, lived over the long term, affects the body’s functioning physically (cardiovascular disease, endocrine disorders, reduced immune function, etc.) and mentally (depression, anxiety, bournout syndrome, etc.). Depression has been discussed at length in this article.

Coping strategies / Emotion-focused coping and problem-focused coping

Coping strategies are the cognitive, affective and behavioural responses we develop in order to reduce, contain or tolerate internal or external demands that exceed personal resources (Lazarus et al.).

Emotion-focused coping

It is a passive process by which we try to diminish or eliminate the unpleasant negative emotional state we feel in relation to a stressor. The focus is on ‘what we feel’ and not on action.

Some emotion-focused coping strategies:
Emotional release by crying or calling on the support of friends,
minimising the problem (“It’s not that difficult the exam that’s coming up!”),
the belief that time will diminish the problem,
hope in divine help,
postponement (“I still have enough time to hand in the project, I will deal with it later”)

Action-focused coping

Action involves a dynamic, active, conscious process directed towards the cause of stress, the problem that causes stress. Specifically, for example, if the stress is generated by taking up a new job, the action-focused coping mechanism involves focusing on accumulating as much knowledge and skills as possible that will be used/searched in the new job.

Which coping strategy is more effective?

In the context of the multitude of problems we face on a daily basis, we ask ourselves the natural question: Which of the 2 types of coping is more effective?

The success of the coping strategy depends on several factors:
type of stressor,
conditions under which the event occurs,
personality,
the experiences accumulated over the years,
age,
sex
social network support.

Another very important criterion is given by control awareness and the limits we have as humans. In other words, when we are facing health issues, when we are dealing with the loss of a loved one, Emotion-focused coping mechanisms are more effective, being problems that are far beyond our control. Stress generated by conflict situations at work, financial problems, job evaluations, goals we set ourselves, etc. are better dealt with by problem-focused coping.

The following is a list of the most widely used and effective methods of stress management:

1. Identifying the stressor:

It is very important to be aware of what the problem is that is actually causing our stress. Knowing the enemy leads to winning the war! If there are more difficult problems such as the death of a loved one, separation from a partner, major conflicts at work, relationship problems with children, we recommend that you seek specialist help: a psychiatrist or psychologist.

2. Developing assertive communication:

Expressing our needs and desires in a direct, non-aggressive way. Learning to say “No!” when tasks overwhelm us or we are not comfortable with the situation.

3. Regular practice of a sport:

Walking outdoors, cycling, going to the gym, dancing… any form of movement has a beneficial effect on our mental state.

4. Emotional connection with family and friends:

Emotional support from a loved one is a great help when we face difficult situations.

5. Effective time planning:

Often stress is caused by the many tasks we have to do. Prioritising and planning them leads to less stress.

6. Use of various relaxation modalities:

Breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, yoga, mindfulness techniques, aromatherapy.

7. Time dedicated to our needs and hobbies:

Allocating a time each day when we take a little joy, pleasure or do an activity that brings us satisfaction.

8. Restful sleep:

Sleep disorders are often associated with stress. It is important to stick to a sleep schedule, i.e. to go to bed and wake up at approximately the same times. A healthy adult needs 7 hours of sleep, between 10 in the evening and 6 in the morning. It is during this time that the regulatory and balancing processes of the neuroendocrine system take place. – more information about sleep associated disorders gășesti by clicking here

9. Healthy eating:

A balanced diet, reducing excessive consumption of sweets, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes leads to a healthy body that can cope much better with environmental challenges.

10. Personal development:

Awareness of inner resources, a good self-esteem, knowledge of strengths and weaknesses that we still need to work on, setting clear goals, understanding and accepting the meaning of your life are very important aspects to decrease or reduce stress. The process of personal development is a complex one and is most effective when done with the help of a psychotherapist.

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