Addressing the mental health of children and adolescents as a couple
If you have a troubled child or teenager and you suspect they need specialist help, it is important to approach the situation with patience, compassion and be open to working with the other parent involved.
Here are some steps you can take for your child’s mental health:
Recognise the problem
The first step in addressing the problem is to recognise that your child has a problem that requires specialist intervention. Ignoring or denying the problem will only make the situation worse. Being honest with yourself about your child’s condition will help you start looking for solutions to help them.
Get informed
Find out about the problems your child is facing. Look for online resources, books or most certainly contact mental health professionals to better understand the situation and prepare accordingly. A psychiatrist or psychologist will help you identify the problem and give you information on what should be done next.
Communicate openly
Keep the line of communication open with your child. Make sure they feel comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts with you. Listen to them without judging them and encourage them to express themselves openly.
Be understanding and empathetic
Try to see things from his perspective. By being empathetic and understanding, you will be able to maintain a connection with your child and support them throughout this difficult time.
Set limits
While it’s important to be understanding, it’s also essential to set boundaries. Teenagers need structure and rules to feel safe. Make sure these rules are clear, consistent and consistently applied.
Take care of yourself
While supporting your child, it’s essential to take care of yourself too. It’s also important to keep your sanity so you can be a fully present and involved parent in your child’s life.
Find support
Don’t hesitate to seek support. This can be a parent support group, a therapist or friends and family. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Ideally, both parents would work together to manage the child’s mental health problems. However, when the other parent does not acknowledge or is unwilling to get involved, it may be necessary to approach them directly about the issue.
Communicate clearly:
Try to have an honest and open conversation with the other parent. Explain why you think your child needs help and give concrete examples of behaviours or situations that have worried you. Make sure you keep the discussion respectful and neutral. Give the other parent information about the problem the child is facing. Perhaps he/she does not fully understand what this means or does not realise how serious the situation is. Knowledge can change perceptions and pave the way for a better understanding of the need for intervention.
Involve:
Encourage the other parent to get involved in the treatment process. Invite them to counselling sessions or meetings with mental health professionals. Perhaps once they see the child’s progress or have a better understanding of what treatment involves, they will be more willing to offer support.
Mediation:
If direct talks don’t work, you may need to seek the help of a professional mediator. It can facilitate communication and help find solutions that satisfy both parties.
Be patient:
Changing attitudes and beliefs can be hard. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to convince the other parent of the need for their support.
Approaching the other parent can be a difficult task, but it plays an essential role in ensuring the best outcome for your child. Finally, it’s important to remember that you have a right and a responsibility to act for the good of your child,even if the other parent doesn’t agree or get involved. If a parent refuses necessary treatment for a child, this can be considered a form of neglect. If the other parent is unwilling to cooperate at all, and the child is at risk of being left without adequate help, consult a lawyer to better understand your rights and obligations in this situation so that you can provide all the help the child needs. The best approach is always one based on cooperation and understanding. Communicate openly and honestly with all parties involved to arrive at the best solution for your child.
Dr. Simina-Maria Berci – Specialist in pediatric psychiatry
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